I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
