how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
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He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
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I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
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