so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
