i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
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