i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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