Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
