You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
The feeling are messing with the penis
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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