oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
