So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
