atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
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