So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Dating After Heartbreak
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????