Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
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Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
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and then he started using my ass as a stressball
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.