Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.