I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Girls should come with a carfax report
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I can't put those talents on a resume
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.