Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize