Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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