I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize