i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize