Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize