my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize