I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
It's blow job season.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
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