Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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