I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
