She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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