YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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