there's paper in my vomit.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
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we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
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I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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