It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize