love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
