i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize
