I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
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