i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
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I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
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I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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