Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
