it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
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As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
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Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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