he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
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