help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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