Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Even my vagina gasped.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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