Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
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