I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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