I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
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Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
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I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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