Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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