it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
