as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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