My liver just broke up with me...
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
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He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
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Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
we're so committed to being not committed
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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