You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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