I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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