In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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