LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
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Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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