Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
These 21 Declassified Government Horrors Are Unimaginable
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?