I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens