Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.