Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you