youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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