I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I am midnight drunk by noon
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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