Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
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You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
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Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize