so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
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I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
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