So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize